Starting the Day

Excerpt from chapter 7, Starting the Day

Some people bounce out of bed in the morning, eager to start the day, while others struggle to slowly drag themselves out of bed. The way you start the day is likely to set the pace for the rest of your day. If you start out eager and animated, it will be much easier to maintain that state, despite any difficulties that may occur later. But if you start the day discouraged, or in some other unpleasant mood, then you will have to work yourself out of that state in order to feel better, which is usually much more difficult.

What often makes the difference is what you first say to yourself as you emerge from sleep. You may awaken in response to an alarm clock, or in response to light, or to the sounds of others in the house getting up. As you begin to emerge from sleep, and sense the world around you, what are the first words in your mind? What is the first thing that you said to yourself this morning? . . .

How about yesterday morning? . . .

Now check several other recent mornings. What did you say then, and how did it set a tone for the rest of the day? . . .

Now notice all the tonal qualities of that internal voice—the tone, volume, tempo, hesitations, etc. . . .

If you said something like, “Ohmigod, I have to go to work today,” in a discouraging tone, you probably had to work hard to get out of bed and get going, and that attitude is likely to persist during the rest of the day.

On the other hand, if you said something like, “Wow, which of my projects do I get to do first?” in an excited tone, then getting out of bed was probably very easy, and it would take a really unpleasant event to change your positive attitude.

If you would like to change how you talk to yourself in the morning, there are five simple steps:

1. Desired outcome First, think about how you want to start out your day, and then what you would say to yourself and what tone and tempo of voice you would use to support that. . . .

2. Identify cues Next notice what you will see, hear, or feel as you first begin to wake up, and then say your sentence to yourself. . . .

3. Check for objections Notice any objections or feelings of concern that you might have about doing this. . . .

4. Satisfy objections If you have any objections, identify any problems with either the words that you chose, or the tonality and tempo that you chose. Then adjust what you say to yourself, or how you say it (or both) until any objections or concerns are satisfied. When all aspects of you are satisfied with it, it will be something that you are congruent about wanting, and it should occur spontaneously and dependably. . . .

5. Rehearse and test Imagine waking up in the future in order to test what you have done. Experience what it will be like tomorrow morning, when you first begin to realize that you are waking up, and notice what happens. . . .

If your morning sentence occurs automatically, you are done. If it doesn’t, you may need to rehearse it several more times just as you begin to wake up to make it automatic, or you might have to back up a few steps and adjust what you say to yourself or the tonality that you use.

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