Adding a Voice

Excerpt from chapter 5, Adding a Voice

In previous chapters, you have learned how to change nonverbal aspects of the direction, location, volume, tonality and tempo of a troublesome voice in order to reduce its impact on you. You have also learned how to add music or a song to a voice in order to change your response, and in the previous chapter you have experimented with several ways to talk to yourself that are useful.

Now we can begin to use some of these methods in combination to make a useful change. For instance, once you have reduced the volume of a troublesome voice, you can then replace it with a more resourceful and supportive voice without creating significant conflict. The following example is from Ron Soderquist, a hypnotherapist in the Los Angeles area:

A middle-aged woman called to say she wanted her husband to come in for hypnosis to change his attitude. “I am sick and tired of his negative attitude.” I was amused, and asked her to have him call me. She was right. When Bill came in for an appointment he said, “I grew up in a very negative, unhappy family. There were no ‘Atta boys’ in our family; there was only criticism. It was a rare day when Dad or Mom laughed or showed happiness. They were unhappy with their marriage.” He went on, “My wife complains that I come home from work grumbling and complaining. She says I’m just like my parents, and she’s probably right, but I can’t seem to help myself. I don’t see how you can help me change. I don’t like being so angry with the kids, and I don’t like having an unhappy wife. If you can help me change, great.”

After some questioning, Bill identified his parents’ negative voices in his head. I asked if he could imagine a room in his head with the voices coming from a radio or some device over by the wall. He was able to imagine a radio. Then I wondered whether he would like to go over and turn down the volume, or perhaps put a pillow in front of the radio to muffle the sound. As he did this, he gave a big sigh, and visibly relaxed. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“My head is quiet for the first time ever,” Bill said. I told him, “Since it’s your head, you can put in anything you want. For example, because you are thankful for your family and your health, you can fill that room with your own thankful voice, if you wish.” To his surprise Bill discovered he could do that quite easily. We rehearsed him in reviewing his thankful thoughts while driving home from work, so that he could greet his wife and children with joyful energy. After some rehearsal, he felt confident he had installed new voices in his head. Bill’s wife called later to report she was enjoying a new, positive Bill; he had changed his attitude.

Ron Soderquist, http://www.westlakehypnosis.com/

I think it is pretty amazing that you can change a pervasive, life-long negative attitude in a few minutes, just by changing an internal voice—and without extensive therapeutic time-traveling back to the traumatic origin of his voices.

However, I want you to think about what would have happened if Bill hadn’t reduced the volume of his negative self-talk before adding in a resourceful and supportive voice. If there were two loud voices in his head, they would conflict with each other, setting up an internal battle. Most people already have a lot of internal conflict; it is not something that they need more of.

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